Why Experiences Make Better Gifts Than Things
Every December, the same quiet anxieties can reappear around the holiday: What should I give them this year?
Closets are already full. Drawers overflow. Another sweater or gadget risks becoming visual clutter rather than a source of joy. It is easy to buy something to put under the tree, but it often feels very close to adding something to the landfill.
Fortunately, decades of research in psychology, behavioral economics, and neuroscience offer a clear alternative to gift buying—one that challenges our default shopping instincts:
Experiences consistently make people happier than material possessions.
Not fleetingly. Not nostalgically. But in ways that are measurable, durable, and psychologically meaningful.
To understand why, consider a giving someone an experience - say, a guided rock climbing trip! - instead of a physical gift.
The Science Behind Experiential Gifts
1. Experiences Produce More Enduring Happiness Than Objects
One of the most robust findings in happiness research is that people derive greater long-term satisfaction from experiential purchases than from material ones. This phenomenon was first articulated by psychologists Thomas Gilovich and Leaf Van Boven, whose research showed that while material purchases deliver a short burst of pleasure, experiences continue to generate positive emotions over time (Van Boven & Gilovich, 2003).
Later work expanded this finding, demonstrating that people are more likely to:
Reinterpret experiences positively over time
Integrate experiences into their sense of self
Revisit experiences mentally through memory and storytelling
Material goods, by contrast, are subject to hedonic adaptation—the tendency for emotional reactions to return quickly to baseline once novelty fades (Frederick & Loewenstein, 1999).
A rock climbing trip does not depreciate the way a physical object does. Instead, its value often increases as the story is retold, the achievements or lessons are remembered, and the relationships grow and evolve.
2. Experiences Are Less Vulnerable to Social Comparison and Buyer’s Remorse
Material gifts invite comparison. There is always a newer model, a better brand, or a lower price someone else found. Research shows that this comparison undermines satisfaction and increases regret (Van Boven & Gilovich, 2003 again).
Experiences are different. Because they are:
Highly personal
Context-specific
Difficult to directly compare
They are less likely to trigger dissatisfaction. Even when an experience is imperfect (cue the thunderstorm, the forgotten lunch, or the bee sting), people are more likely to reinterpret it charitably, often focusing on humor, growth, or connection rather than perceived shortcomings (Gilovich, Kumar & Jampol, 2015).
No one regrets a meaningful climbing trip because someone else climbed a taller cliff, right? Nobody says, “I bet we had more fun on our climbing trip than you did!” Unless they are a jerk.
3. Anticipation Significantly Amplifies Well-Being
This is one of my favorites. Neuroscience and behavioral research show that anticipation itself is a major source of pleasure. In many cases, looking forward to an experience activates reward pathways in the brain more strongly than consumption (Knutson & Greer, 2008).
Experiential gifts generate happiness in three distinct phases:
Anticipation involves planning, imagining, discussing. We discuss the experience, decide when we want to do it, with whom, and what we will plan around it. It’s fun! And our imagination builds a story surrounding what the experience might be like.
Participation involves the lived experience. The thing happens! We go rock climbing (or whatever)! And the reality is often much better than the imagined / expected experience.
Recollection involves remembering, sharing, reflecting. This is where the payoff goes off the rails, into amazing territory. You can’t know when you’ve delivered an experience your friend or family member will be talking about 50 years from now. But when you hear them reminesce… how great does that feel?
Material gifts tend to compress the above pleasure process into a single moment. A rock climbing trip, on the other hand, delivers emotional returns weeks or months before (before!!!) it ever happens. Amazing.
Why a Rock Climbing Trip Is an Especially Powerful Experience Gift
Rock Climbing Combines Effort, Skill, and Mastery
Research in positive psychology shows that people derive deeper satisfaction from effortful activities than from passive consumption. This is closely related to the concept of eudaimonic well-being—a form of happiness rooted in growth, competence, and meaning rather than pleasure alone (Ryan & Deci, 2001).
Rock climbing exemplifies this:
Progress is earned, not given
Skill development is visible and tangible
Success feels legitimate because it requires effort
This sense of mastery produces pride and confidence that persist long after the experience ends.
Rock Climbing Induces “Good Stress” and Flow States
Climbing also reliably induces what psychologists call eustress—a positive, motivating form of stress associated with increased engagement and performance (Selye, 1974).
Additionally, climbing often triggers flow states, a concept introduced by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi to describe periods of deep focus, immersion, and intrinsic enjoyment (Csikszentmihalyi, 1990). Flow experiences are strongly correlated with life satisfaction and well-being.
For many people, climbing helps people achieve a magical interior place where:
Attention is fully present
Anxiety quiets
Time perception changes
These moments are neurologically and emotionally memorable.
Climbing Together Strengthens Social Bonds
Experiential gifts—especially shared ones—also outperform material gifts in strengthening relationships. Research shows that shared experiences foster greater feelings of closeness and social connection than shared possessions or exchanged objects (Caprariello & Reis, 2013).
A climbing trip naturally encourages:
Mutual reliance and trust
Shared challenge
Collective achievement
These conditions are ideal for deepening bonds, whether between partners, friends, or family members.
Our guide service delivers fantastic climbing experiences. However, I recognize one of the important reasons why our clients love us so much is we helped them become closer with some of the most important people in their loves. It’s a pretty cool role to play in anyone’s life.
Experiences Shape Identity, Not Just Memory
Another reason experiences are special is they contribute directly to identity formation. Psychologists have found that people are more likely to define themselves by what they have done than by what they own (Carter & Gilovich, 2012).
An object says, “This is mine.”
An experience says, “This is who I am.”
A rock climbing trip reinforces identity narratives such as:
“I challenge myself.”
“I spend time outdoors.”
“I’m capable of more than I thought.”
These narratives are powerful—and durable.
The Broader Context: Meaning Over Accumulation
While happiness is the primary outcome, experiential gifts also align with broader values increasingly supported by behavioral research: reduced materialism, intentional living, and meaning-driven choices. Studies show that prioritizing experiences over possessions is associated with greater gratitude, generosity, and life satisfaction (Nicolao, Irwin & Goodman, 2009).
The Takeaway
If you want a gift that:
Generates lasting happiness
Resists comparison and regret
Strengthens relationships
Reinforces identity and confidence
Delivers joy before, during, and after it occurs
then choose an experience.
And if that experience involves rock, rope, focus, fear, laughter, and a view earned step by step, you are not just giving a gift—you are giving someone a memory that will quietly improve their life.
Objects fill shelves.
Experiences fill stories.
References
Caprariello, P. A., & Reis, H. T. (2013). To do or to have? That is the question. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 104(2), 199–215.
Carter, T. J., & Gilovich, T. (2012). I am what I do, not what I have. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 102(6), 1304–1317.
Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Harper & Row.
Frederick, S., & Loewenstein, G. (1999). Hedonic adaptation. In Well-Being: The Foundations of Hedonic Psychology. Russell Sage Foundation.
Gilovich, T., Kumar, A., & Jampol, L. (2015). A wonderful life: Experiential consumption and the pursuit of happiness. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 25(1), 152–165.
Knutson, B., & Greer, S. M. (2008). Anticipatory affect. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 17(5), 358–362.
Nicolao, L., Irwin, J. R., & Goodman, J. K. (2009). Happiness for sale. Journal of Consumer Research, 36(2), 188–198.
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2001). On happiness and human potentials. Annual Review of Psychology, 52, 141–166.
Selye, H. (1974). Stress without distress. Harper & Row.
Van Boven, L., & Gilovich, T. (2003). To do or to have? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(6), 1193–1202.
